Ridge Insights - January 2007
Resolutions Gone Wrong
Ridge Insights A monthly e-brief from Ridge Training
Date: January 19, 2007
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What We're Thinking About: Resolutions Gone Wrong
Did you ring in the New Year with a new resolution or two? How are those working for you?
If the answer is "Good!" then congratulations are in order! You're almost halfway to transforming your resolution into a habit. (It takes about six weeks for new behaviors to become routine.) If you've fallen off the good intentions wagon, don't despair. It's time to turn your resolution into an Agreement.
What's the difference? Resolution" is defined as "firm determination" (www.bartleby.com/61/86/R0178600.html); it is a kind of intention. We usually think of resolutions as general goals: lose weight, spend more time with family, etc. Most resolutions actually involve many small but significant changes in a number of behavioral areas. When making resolutions we rarely think about them in this level of detail.
In contrast, the Agreement process taught by Ridge is more of a behavioral plan. The process is normally used to think through and ensure the success of an agreement between two people, but it can also be applied when making an agreement with yourself. Our Agreements process has four ingredients.
* WHAT
What are you going to do? If your resolution is to lose weight, specifically what are the behavioral steps you will take? Break it down into things that a video camera could capture. "Portion control" is still vague. "One helping at dinner" is better. What else?
* WHY
Why is this Agreement important? It must be important or else you wouldn't have chosen it. Be explicit in describing why this agreement is important so that when the going gets tough, you can remember why you're making the change in the first place.
* WHAT IF
What if you hit obstacles that could trip up your efforts? They're out there just waiting for you. "What If" helps you proactively solve the problems that you can anticipate, reducing the number of challenges standing between you and success.
* WHAT NEXT?
How are you going to hold yourself accountable? Maybe have a friend/colleague check in with you weekly? Or keep a journal? Or use key indicators (e.g., your weight, number of snacks, etc.) to see if your behavior is on track? Build this accountability into the "What Next" stage so you can mark progress and keep yourself moving in the right direction.
To help you get started, download our "Resolution: Make an Agreement With Yourself" worksheet (http://www.ridge.com/resolution.html) to think through your resolution, and act on it.
Big changes come in small steps. Behavior precedes results, so forget the results (for now) and focus on behavior. Create an Agreement and work your plan. In six weeks, the results will begin to show.
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