Ridge Insights - January 2008
Agreements
Ridge Insights
A monthly e-brief from Ridge Training
Date: January 24, 2008
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WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT: AGREEMENTS
Full of resolve, many of us headed into this new year with aspirations to be on top of things. About this time you are probably realizing that you need more than resolve; you need a plan. Something simple. Something that will work.
Enter Agreements. Last year we provided a format for you to work on your New Year's Resolutions in a specific way, using the format of the Agreement. (http://www.ridge.com/insights/ins2007_01.html) It's never too late to try this! But this time of year is also an excellent time to set up new ways of working with other people, one that reduces relationship stress and provides a consistent way to achieve mutual commitment.
There are four parts to an Agreement discussion:
WHAT
Be specific about what you want. Explain what, who, when, how as specifically as possible. If you don't ask for exactly what you want, you are unlikely to get it. For example, "I need a weekly written 1 page summary by Friday at noon eastern time in my email as an attachment; spell-checked and proofed."
WHY
Explain why what you're asking for is important, and why you're asking for specific things. If you can find a rationale that's persuasive to the other person, even better: "I need to share the weekly summary with others on the team and my boss at a meeting Friday afternoon." This information gives power to what you're asking for and it gives the person enough information to meet your needs if something goes awry.
WHAT IF
With an eye toward troubleshooting, bring up whatever you think might get in the way of the other person keeping the Agreement,: "What if you're out of town? What if you have technical problems?" This is counterintuitive, right? You might be thinking, "If it ain't broken, why should we talk about fixing it?" You anticipant what can be broken because it's easier to talk about potential problems ahead of time than to deal with the problems after the fact.
WHAT NEXT
At the end of the conversation, summarize what's been decided and make a plan to check in with the other person about how things are going, preferably before things could go wrong: "I'll check in with you next week and see how this is working."
TIPS ON GETTING AGREEMENTS:
- Prepare for the conversation so that you can be clear and specific. Our "Agreement Preparation: Notes" can help you think through your Agreement discussion ahead of time.
- Make it a conversation rather than a speech. Explain a little about what you're looking for, then ask for the person's reaction: "What do you think?" or "How does that sound?" Hear them out and respond to the other person's point of view before you continue with the Agreement.
- If the other person is making non-committal noises or putting up roadblocks, stop persuading and start trying to understand what the anticipated problems are. If you try to railroad them at this point you can expect problems later with them keeping the agreement. Once you understand what the issue is, then start problem solving.
- Choose no more than five Agreements initially; but follow them up rigorously. See our article "Prescription for Action: Getting and Maintaining Agreements."
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Copyright 2007 - Ridge Associates, Inc. - All Rights Reserved.
Copyright 2008 Ridge Associates, Inc. All Rights Reserved.